


Death Machine

by nestofthorns



Category: Final Fantasy I
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5303561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nestofthorns/pseuds/nestofthorns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death Machine was patient. It was a predator, waiting for the perfect chance to strike. Its preys doubled back along the bridge—Its lair—with an impatient gait. They had been hunting here for a while, hunting for It. Fools! It was the predator, and It would strike that lesson into their very souls!</p>
<p>Crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Machine

Death Machine was patient. It was a predator, waiting for the perfect chance to strike. Its preys doubled back along the bridge—Its lair—with an impatient gait. They had been hunting here for a while, hunting for _It_. Fools! _It_ was the _predator_ , and It would strike _that_ lesson into their very souls!

But It was no fool (unlike those _Flans_. Ugh.) They had defeated Tiamat, after all. There was no doubt they were prey, but they were strong prey. It was patient. It waited and watched gleefully as the lowly creatures that It tolerated in Its lair slowly but surely sapped their strength away.

The perfect moment would come. And then victory would be _Its_.

Now! Yes... yes... this was the moment these so-called _Light Warriors_ would fall to the might of the Death Machine! Tiamat may have fallen to their sword, but not It, THE MIGHTY DEATH MACHINE—

_SLASH. SKRIIIIIIIT. BAM._

The White Wizard blinked at the heap of slowly disintegrating parts made of the strange technology of the Sky People. Frowning, he turned to the Ninja. “Are you _sure_ we’ve got the right one?”

The Ninja nodded, though doubt clearly painted his face. “It matches the description... I think.”

In front of the mess that once was the proud Death Machine stood the Knight, gaping unseemly, his Ultima Sword hanging loosely from his grip. “But-but it was supposed to be an _epic_ battle! It’s a _superboss_!”

“There, there.” The White Wizard patted his back sympathetically, avoiding the spikes on the shoulder of the armour with almost-habitual caution. “We can just go fight Deathgaze again.”

This, of course, earned him three very lethal glares, even from the normally unruffled Black Wizard, which up until now had been curiously poking at the smoking remains of the Death Machine with his staff.

“But that takes _days_!” the Knight whined.

“Well, yes,” the White Wizard tried diplomatically, “there are quite a few items that are rumoured to be in the Cove... and we haven’t found them yet...”

The Ninja and the Black Wizard was Not Amused, and they proceeded to ensure that the White Wizard understood that. Thoroughly.

“Ahem.” The White Wizard’s robes were quite singed... in fact, his face was rather cut up. (He’d been ignoring that, thank you very much. In other words: Shut. Up. ...Please.) “I suppose it _is_ high time we go to Chaos Shrine. All in favour?”

Everyone raised their hands up.

“We already went... and teleported out at the last moment because you remembered that we hadn’t gone to the elemental shrines... all those fights wasted....” the Ninja mumbled under his breath.

The White Wizard clapped his hands together, a bright smile pasted on his face. “Well, that’s settled then! Let’s go! We still have to find the Basilisk after all!”

“ _Fuck._ ”

And that was how the mighty and proud Death Machine fell to the Light Warriors (after hours and hours... and hours.... of walking around....).

**Author's Note:**

> based on my own gameplay a few years ago when i decided to replay the game. being the perfectionist i was, i decided to hunt all the monsters. by the time I got to death machine, i almost had all and couldn't bear giving up.... even if it took hours...


End file.
